Monday, October 31, 2011

Hello old friends and welcome new friends

I have decided to update and move my blog as there are some big changes happening in my life and the lives of our family. There will be lots more to come on this over the next few weeks.

I am currently pulling my hair out and stressing a lot. There is just so much to do, sort, and remember! I have been losing many nights sleep wondering what the heck we are doing and is it all going to work out. My house is a MESS! I didn't realise how much toys, books, clothes, linen, kitchen ware, craft and junk (lots of junk) we owned. It appears I have been very good at hiding things away to look tidy and organised. But truth is all I have done is hide it from myself.

With the unknown comes the familiar return of an old friend. Anxiety. It has taken me a few weeks to figure it out (how quickly we forget). Nausea, dizziness, sweating hands, racing mind, temple headaches, lying awake for hours in the middle of the night, stomach turning flips. Sadly stress and I can't seem to live hand in hand all that well. Pressure turns me into a startled owl, flinching at every loud noise. I was once told that the body cannot withstand stress and anxiety for more than 5 to 6 hours straight. I must now say that I disagree. I feel like I have been living in this same state since we made our decision to completely change our lives 3 weeks ago. It's like being caught in a storm knowing that at some stage it has to end but being completely battered while you endure it.

I know we will be fine and it will eventually settle down and be exciting. Stress seems to be a good diet on the plus side. Seems one thing I don't feel like right now is eating. My mind is SO consumed with how, what, when, how and why that food seems to rate about the bottom of the list. Which reminds me I really should get back to today's task before the Husband arrives home and see's I decided to blog instead. 

I have missed you, dear blog, and all my blog land friends. I am hoping that I can find somewhere to record our BIG decision over the next few weeks, months and (I'm sure) years. I am in desperate need of some respite and safety to get my spinning thoughts down and you dear blog shall help me, as you have before.