Today I feel like an unadequate mother, unable to drag myself from the couch.
Today I wonder what a life without MCS would feel like.
Today my head thumps like a constant drum.
Today my brain refuses to function to its normal capacity.
Today I feel like I am wrapped in a fog.
Today I wonder whether a normal life is possible again.
Today I think of all that has changed lately.
Today I don't know who this person inside my shell is.
Today I am grumpy and on edge.
Today I am so tired it is an effort to breathe.
Today I know I am someone different to twelve months ago.
Today I wonder if I will push anyone else away.
Today I wish I had the words to explain.
Today I know there will be a tomorrow,
And there is hope tomorrow is better than today.
I know MCS had changed who I am, how I think, speak, act and react, and operate.
There are things I have done and said that are a complete breakdown of brain function at times.
I am grateful for friends and family who have seen the effects of this and have stuck by with understanding and compassion.
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| The way I would graphically try to explain MCS |
I see first hand the effects and how it effects your ability to function be assured honey i love more than ever and am always here at your side to help you anyway i can
ReplyDeleteOh Jess, I had tears in my eyes reading that post. Another bad day.... I'm so sorry - not that I can change it in any way. I didn't know the pre-MCS Jess but the Jess I know is an amazing mum, soldiering on regardless of headaches or the effect a chemical has on your body. Many would just curl up on a ball and forget the world, but you continue to run a household, feed, dress and nuture your children - even getting them to the bus on time for school. You are entitled to a day on the couch every now and then when your body demands it. I hope that soon you will feel comfortable enough to call and ask for help if you need it.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and so positive for someone dealing with the challenges that you are dealing with.
I'm so glad we met and I'm looking forward to being friends for a long time yet!!
Thank you for sharing this with me/the world... You are such a bright light in my bloggy sky!
ReplyDeleteBeing strong means knowing when to look after yourself xxxx