Does anyone else have that child? Is there a rule for which number child it falls on? Or if you only have one do they display that child tendencies as a role they must fill?
You all know that child I'm talking about.
The one that scuffs brand new $50 shoes in the first five minutes they are on their feet.
The one that would find the only dog poo to trod through in a 5km radius.
The one who cuts there own hair not once, not twice but three days in a row.
The one who packs up their friends and runs away from the house they are playing at to one of the others house and hides along the way so the parents can't find them.
The one that puts the cat in the shower every time they have one.
The one who rubs lipstick into the white carpet.
That child who has been told off FIVE times for doing the same thing but still looks at you blankly and says "What???" in a lost and vacant voice when you finally lose the plot.
The child who will wait until you have poured two drinks and then one for yourself, while they stand watching, you finally sit down to relax and then they ask for one!
The one who thinks fun is swinging from the new handrail and ripping it out of the wall.
That child who every time you go shopping just has to use the toilet!
Or the one who takes your friends children to the shed with them and plays with oil and petrol while you sit for a relaxing coffee with a friend.
The one who opens the door with a chair, while you are feeding the baby, and decides to walk to McDonalds.
That child that yells and screams any time the phone rings or you are out in public to make you look like the worlds flaky parent.
The one who breaks things in the first five minutes of wearing/owning/playing with.
The one who has no fear in the question they will ask total strangers - like "did your babies come out your bottom too?"
The one who pushes or hits your friends kids and then innocently denies it even when you were watching.
The one who drinks dishwashing liquid, bubble liquid, hand soap, washing powder or floor wash.
That child who eats a packet of contraceptive pills from the bedside table.
You all know that child right?
The one who makes you cry because you just don't know what to do with them anymore.
The one you attribute all your grey hairs to.
The one who makes you feel like you are failing as a parent.
Does it get better?
Do they grow out of it?
Will I forever find myself saying "Honestly! That child!!".
One day I know there will be that child stories that will be laughed over and shared.
Stories that you will tell when comforting friends over there very own that child.
Tales that will be told about you when you complain about your that child and your losing of sanity.
But for now I am in the season of life where that child does things daily, if not numerous times a day. Some days I have to laugh because I can't cry or yell anymore.
I do love that child as much as all the other but that child sure tests my ability as a Mum!
nb: not all of these scenarios are from my real life 'that child', I have taken the liberty to share other people's that child experiences so that we all feel like we are normal.