Stuff be gone

So after the children left NP we had one day to prepare ourselves for the departure of our personal affects. For Bubba this meant endless scrubbing and preparing of all his tools. As he works as a mechanic his tools are the lifeblood of his trade. As the packers were coming Tuesday this meant that he had a week of work tool-less - Hmmm is a mechanic without tools still a mechanic? (thinking if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear does it still make a sound?)

For me this meant making sure everything that I needed and wanted in our new life had to be crammed into a room so we weren't aimlessly throwing items at random at the packing man.(Yes I have found plenty now that the house is empty that was meant to be in those boxes...)

I'm not sure how much sleep was achieved on the Monday night but by the face looking back in the mirror Tuesday morning I think not that much. I know I tossed and turned worry about whether we had more stuff then the quote, was everything there that need to be packed, was there too much that wasn't really necessary? All this rolled around and around in my brain, jumbling itself up and spitting out some weird thoughts.

This bird flew inside Tuesday morning and I could see the parallels of my life with its. I thought it summed up exactly how I felt about life right now. Looking out at the world, unsure of how to get where I was heading, and crapping myself thinking about the process.

This was a major day in the beginning of our new life. Truck and man arrived to take our belongings away to a new land. The lucky country - so we have been told it is called.

The packer came in and made some cheap jokes to try and relax the situation, as anyone could see I was wound as tight as a spring today. I nervously laughed at his jokes, the whole time thinking I hope this clown knows what he is doing. (When his colleagues arrived and called him Weeman all I could think was I knew you were from Jackass.) 
Everything he does or doesn't do will be the results of whether our things arrive in one piece or whether it will get there and need to all be gone through as he wasn't thorough enough to inform us about what will be checked at arrival port.

My brain was throwing me through scenario after scenario. So I sat staring at the wall unsure of what to do feeling like I didn't know where to start next. This went on for about 2 hours being pulled out of my trance when the phone would ring or Squeak come for a babble. I now see it is a control and trust issue. I didn't have control over what was where or how it was done and I didn't trust anyone to do things the way I would.

Then it was done. We had to sign the paperwork to say it was all packed and now in the hands on the storage and shipping agents.

Stuff be gone, we will see you on the other side of this adventure. 

Hopefully you will be in one piece and won't cost us any unplanned for costs. 

You will be clean enough and safe enough for the inspector standards. 

Be good and stick together.

You might need to look after the little teaspoons, they might get scared or seasick.

Dolly's be kind to one another, no fighting.

Books find a good read and settle in, it will be a while.

Goodbye precious things and remember we loved you enough to take you with us.

See you sometime next year things.

(My head spinning and my control being dragged away from my white knuckled fingers as the truck drives away.)