Thursday, November 3, 2011

Fight or flight?

Today I find myself feeling...

A little bit unsure,
A little bit scared,
A little bit tearful.

A lot overwhelmed,
A lot nervous,
And a lot anxious.

Weeks have turned to days,
And days begin to turn to hours.
A life that has been planned and measured,
is now reckless and spontaneous.

Everything in my head is whirring around and around.
My stomach is constantly in my mouth.
I see myself,
watching myself,
shaking my head at myself.

What are you thinking?
When did you become so risky and unplanned?

I wish some kind words would take this all away but truth is this is real.
I am who I am.
Part of me is a pessimist who sees everything half empty.

My fight or flight reaction is beginning to take grip.
I feel like I want to run.
I want to escape.
I want to hide.
I want to wake up.

But I can't.
I can't let myself beat myself,

This time I will face my fears.
I will stare them down.
I will draw my guns and stand my ground.
All while my legs shake and my head spins wildly.

One day at a time.
One decision at a time.
One item off the endless lists at a time.


  1. I love you big sis and I believe in you :)

  2. life can be really tough sometimes - you will get through this. I can't reply to the comments you left on my blog (just so you know I'm not snobby hehe) but if you want to make a sock monkey it could all be done by hand - it was a lot easier than I expected but I don't think I can bear making a row of them (really, really dislike hand stitching!) Look after yourself :D

  3. One step at a time. The craziness is nearly adventures are afoot!

  4. Beautiful, so brave of you to share your thoughts with the world... thank you for being such a strong and courageous woman!


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