Today I find myself feeling...
A little bit unsure,
A little bit scared,
A little bit tearful.
A lot overwhelmed,
A lot nervous,
And a lot anxious.
Weeks have turned to days,
And days begin to turn to hours.
A life that has been planned and measured,
is now reckless and spontaneous.
Everything in my head is whirring around and around.
My stomach is constantly in my mouth.
I see myself,
shaking my head at myself.
What are you thinking?
When did you become so risky and unplanned?
I wish some kind words would take this all away but truth is this is real.
I am who I am.
Part of me is a pessimist who sees everything half empty.
My fight or flight reaction is beginning to take grip.
I feel like I want to run.
I want to escape.
I want to hide.
I want to wake up.
But I can't.
I can't let myself beat myself,
This time I will face my fears.
I will stare them down.
I will draw my guns and stand my ground.
All while my legs shake and my head spins wildly.
One day at a time.
One decision at a time.
One item off the endless lists at a time.